Who cares?

 Once in college I took a weight training course. On the first day my coach had me squat 350lbs three sets ten reps each. I had never done a squat before, but i completed all three sets and felt great! I walked back to my dorm, took a hot shower to relax my muscles, and set down to work on something till my next class. Forty minutes later I got up to walk across campus to class, and my legs instantly collapsed under me sending me face first to the floor. I had no idea what was wrong, but i had to get to class. I pulled myself up on my bed, got my legs under me, and began hobbling on shaky, aching legs. I pulled myself up two flights of stairs, relying heavily on my upper body, staggered a hundred yards, then carefully descended two flights of stairs to arrive at the hallway off of which my classroom sat. I was twenty yards from ym goal, but my legs came out from under me again, and I slumped against a wall. Try as i might I could not get up again. a friend tried to help, but they could not lift me. Another friend got the dean of students who called the paramedics. They wanted to take me to the hospital, but i just wanted to get to class. I needed to be in class for the first day in order to receive the syllabus, and hear it explained. So, one paramedic took me around the waist, and i grasped his shoulders, and pulled with all my strengths as he lifted with all of his. It took two attempts, and probably did not help that poor man any; but i got up and got to class. 

What happened that day was my fault. I did not know my limits, I did not care for myself, and I was not willing to admit I had attempted too much until I absolutely had to. However, there was no indication that I could not handle the weight until i had handled the weight. I think that reality can be crippling to us. Why take a job I am not sure I can succeed at? Why hire someone I am not sure can handle the job? Why go to school if there is no guarantee of success following? Why buy a house, or car, or anything of value if you cannot instantly afford it. Why take risks? 

Because we have to is more of a cop out than an answer. We take risks because we have hope, because we believe, because there has to be something better. If we do not lift greater weight we do not get stronger. If we do not take new responsibilities at work we do not grow a career. If we do not take economic risks, we do not reap rewards. And what if we stumble, what if we fall? 

We have help for those who collapse entirely, and go to hospital. We do not have a lot of help for the guy tenaciously hobbling across campus. We wait to see what will happen to him, he is still going after all. Ah, but is he any less desperate than the man on the stretcher? I wasn't. I needed to get off the floor more than I needed anything else in that moment, it was all that mattered to get my legs back under me. No one else cared about that. 

Recently I bought a house, hoping that soon after i could get momentum in my career. There were encouraging signs, but all of those vanished, and left me staggering, crawling along desperate to get my economic legs under me. It was no different than the weight lifting in college, everything was fine until iit wasn't. Unlike in college there is no one to help me get my legs under me again. I am not alone, I have read countless stories just like mine of people who had one bad day, a bad month, a bad year; who made one poor call, and it left them not crippled, but limping. Who cries for them? Who offers to help them back up? Who cares as long as they aren't on the streets?

 

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